I can't believe it's 2012. Where did last year go? It was such a full year. 2011 had so many ups and so many downs. Most notable up: Olivia turned 1!! Most notable down: The passing of my mother, after her long battle with cancer. It's almost the anniversary of her death and I don't know how to feel. Am I doing it right? Am I feeling correctly? I don't know. My emotional health is a very important thing to me. I've struggled, in the past, with keeping a grip on my emotions. I tend to be extremely sensitive and, if left unchecked, my emotions would get the better of me and I would explode into a crazy, sobbing, maniac. After the manic episode, I felt dry and empty. I don't want to be that person again, grasping for some sanity and clarity. It wasn't a pretty Megan. I catch myself, on occasion, going down that road. I fix it. I move on. I guess that's it then. I know myself. I can control myself like I never could a few short years ago. I'm a wife and a mom now. I guess I never thought the day would come that I wasn't a big emotional steamroller.
2012...2012...
I have some goals for this year. I want to be a more present wife and mother. I want our family to eat more home-cooked meals. That means I have to cook more. I love cooking but my kitchen is tiny. One meal destroys my kitchen. This brings me to my next goal. Cleaning. I HATE CLEANING. I've never been a particularly tidy person and those habits are hard to break. I especially want to keep the kitchen and our bedroom nice and clean. I envy those people who love to clean and always have beautiful homes. I want to be one of those people. Well I don't think that will EVER happen so I just need to give my best effort, which I currently do not.
Also, Preston and I have decided that we want to buy a house. It's not going to be an easy thing as we have a few hurdles to overcome. We want to be moved into a new home by the end of the year though. I'm praying this will happen. We are tired of renting.
What do you want for the new year?
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